A Classic ACD-L "Funny" by
Christy W. (aka ^CW^)

Note from the Author: the following is supposed to be *humor* and is not intended to single out or insult anyone except those mentioned by name or initials, who can take it ;-) and NO, I didn't really add up the postings, that's someone less blonde's job! And - this is based on the classic "NEWSGROUP" version of the lightbulb joke - pre-email list era.

Q: How many ACDLers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 1,392:

1 ACD to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed...

6 to reply to that dog's post in (shudder) really bad dogspeak

1 JulieB to fire the dogspeakers

12 lurkers to post that they like the dogspeak

1 reasonable person to suggest that dogspeak go privately

3 to say that it's anti-american to send posts privately

1 person to point out that the ACD-L is global in scope

8 to post that their dog could have changed the light bulb better

1 CW#2 to post that his dogs do it instinctively

1 Suze to post that CW is a meathead

1 Suze to post that she meant to send that privately, but oh what the heck she's allowed to make such mistakes and really she meant that CW's dogs *may* do it instinctively but really that doesn't prove that anyone elses dogs don't because after all in Alaska they do and CW just hasn't been there to see it

1 person to post that CW is actually head of a conspiracy to take over the world and why can't the rest of us *see* it?!

12 to tell the conspiracy guy to get a life

1 KBAB to tell us to keep it on topic

4 newbies who have never posted anything before to accuse KBAB of stifling creativity and free speach

1 JT to defend KBAB

6 other lurkers to post that they're gonna quit the list because of the alphas and the rest of us

1 newbie to ask why some ACDs have tails and some don't

1 Rosemary to kindly & succinctly reply to the tail question, plus gently point the newbie to the FAQs

1 Jim to simultaneously (at the same time as Ro) post a few useful websites to answer that question

1 Christy to post an ACD physics question involving a 55 lb plainfaced male, a 132 lb plain faced blonde, a six foot ladder, a small vacuum-filled bulb of glass, and live electricity

1 Alex to post a reply to the physics question that is 50% humor and 50% science

1 newbie to post asking if anyone else's ACD lays like a frog

3 responses to the newbie saying that their ACDs do

4 responses to the newbie saying that their ACDs don't

6 responses to the newbie saying that their ACDXs do

2 people to ask what ACDXs are

12 responses to the newbie to say that their ACDs don't, but their neighbors lab does

2 responses to the newbie to say in 500 words or more that their ACD doesn't but their long lost dead sainted ACD did

1 newbie to post a question asking about the difference between a heeler and an ACD

1 person to refer them to the FAQ

5 posts demanding that the question be answered on-list

9 ACD-Lers to post that it's the same thing, heeler or ACD

3 breeders to say that they're insulted by the lumping in of their dogs as heelers which are just junk

1 TJIC aka Trevor to post in 500 words or more why the phrase heeler junk is up there with something or other

1 Matthew Plache to post in more words than TJIC why TJIC is wrong

1 PP to egg them both on

6 people to write privately to the alphas complaining about MP and TJIC

1 newbie to forward a post about a new virus

148 people to complain to the alphas privately about the virus posting

2 people to post to the virus poster, saying it's a hoax

4 to post that this ACD-L not Virus-L

8 to post that we *all* use computers to get to ACD-L so it *is* on topic

1 newbie to post that they feed their dogs supermarket dog food

3 to tell the newbie that supermarket dog food is poison, and they ought to be feeding their ACDs XXX brand

8 people to say that you should feed your ACD BARF

1 newbie to post that there's an ACD in "Road Warrior" - did we know that?

1 to post that there's an ACD in "Last of the Dog Men" but it gets shot but then it's OK

1 to post that George Strait used to have an ACD but it got lost but then he got another one

1 newbie to post that they just got their first ACD from an amish guy and now it's 6 months old and biting everyone

2 to post kind answers to the newbie including helpful URLs for training

4 to correct the incorrectly typed URLs

6 to post that the dog wouldn't be like this if it were purchased from a reputable breeder

19 to lament the state of the ACD temperament today and ponder its future in a world with decreasing cattle and increasing people

3 show people to brag about wins their dogs got this weekend

4 to post "congrads" to the winners

1 to shudder at the "congrads" abbreviation

6 to post "me too!" on the congrats

6 to post "me three! :)" on the congrats

17 to point out that their dogs are related to the winners via the third cousin of the sixth grandsire

1 newbie to attempt to post and send in just a copy of the last digest

3 to send in list commands (ie unsubscribe, etc) to the list as a whole

6 to send HTML and formatted text to the list

2 to send attachments

1 newbie to post that their ACD is on the web, go look

2 to post that that's not an ACD

1 person to forward an unrelated post from an unrelated list to ACD-L

2 to complain about the forwarded post

1 to suggest the person go to the OTHER list, where there are no rules and life is wonderful

21 to ask "what other list?"

1 to post that there's only 266 days until the national, wheeeeeee!

165 to ask what a national is

3 to attempt to explain what an national is

13 to ask what the ACDCA is

18 to ask how to join the ACDCA

1 to post that they don't want to join the ACDCA, but they do demand to receive all information related to it

1 to post that there's a rescue with only one broken leg, one missing leg and heartworm available in Timbucktu

66 to post that we ought to help this rescue

1 to point out that perhaps resources are better served if the thousands of dollars spend rehabbing and rehoming this rescue were perhaps used to rehome 25 rescues

3 to post how dare you tell us what to do with our money its a free world

16 to indulge in a debate on the virtues of rescue in all its forms

4 to point out that there's a 2 legged ACD that still herds so this one should be Okay too

1 newbie to post that they have a deaf ACD puppy that they just couldn't put down

3 breeders to suggest that it's very difficult to raise and train and keep a deaf ACD safe

15 to post that the person can do fine with the deaf ACD and they'll support them

1 newbie to post 3 months later that they had to find a "new home" for the deaf ACD

0 of the original 15 to post in regards to being wrong about the wisdom of raising an deaf ACD

1 newbie to post that they heard that there was an ACD that lived to be 35

3 to post that they think the ACD lived to 30 and still worked

2 to post the Guinness book of world records entry verbatim

AND THEN 1 ACD changes a light bulb and posts to ACD-L that the light bulb has been changed...

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